You have endless choices... but few real options.
Hungover and stuck at a job you hate, will you show up for your big presentation, or duck out with Debby, the HR rep with an FDR fetish? Play the weird lump on your back for office-wide sympathy, or dive into an internet spiral that can only end in ten kinds of cancer? Tell someone about the weird genital-fondling that's happening at the crystal healer's, or just accept that this is the best substitute you'll find for love, today... or maybe ever?
From two comedy writers and former contributors to the Onion comes a parody of a choose-your-own-adventure tale the story of your soul-crushing existence. Having choices is great when you re a kid, but in the adult world, the only options are endless varieties of misery. It's okay, though. A life of adventure would require so many uncomfortable sleeping situations. Besides, you have dental. Keep reminding yourself about the dental.
Jilly Gagnon has contributed to Newsweek, McSweeney's Internet Tendency, Vanity Fair, the Huffington Post, the Onion, and regularly in Boston's Weekly Dig, where she s a columnist. As the writer for a safari company, Jilly dreams of exotic adventures and high drama. Mostly it's full of counting down the minutes until the next coffee break. Underworked but still unable to leave before the stroke of 5:30, Jilly is well-versed in the inanities that make up much of office life. And she's always hoping no one's really paying attention to her computer screen, where she's working on documenting her own misery for adventure stories.